Sherry Mcmullin
Dear Goddard Family, \r\nI am saddened by the loss of Stephen, but want to thank you for your openness and honesty about the devastating effects of addiction. You will never know how many people have read the obituary and either been turned from their intentions, or have sighed with relief that they are not alone as family members trying to deal with this.\r\nWe ourselves the struggles, though everyone�??s story is different in its own sad way. If/when we write that obituary, we hope to also be as transparent as you are. This disease is rampant everywhere, and the cost is staggering. So is the amount of questioning grief left behind. \r\nPlease try to remember the famous four Cs: You didn�??t cause it, you can�??t control it, you can�??t change it, and you can�??t cure it. You didn�??t and couldn�??t.\r\nAn anonymous person wrote this in the memory book of a young nurse who had died of addiction:\r\n�??Addiction has a way of morphing a person�??s perceived identity into something unrecognizable. It is a nimble darkness with a short incubation time. You may show how frustrated you are, but the person who would have once considered your frustrations cannot hear you. The ignorance of caring advice begins all too early. This is also why any guilt, regret, or rumination is ultimately unjustified. You are attempting to combat an illness with words. There is no illness that one can simple be talked out of. There becomes a point where you have exhausted all of the support you have to give. I learned this lesson when my best friend was a suicidal addict, coming to terms with the fact that the guilt I faced had no logical cause.�?�\r\nPlease accept my sympathy with my gratitude for your courage.